Again, my mind slips back

As I try so hard to progress

Avoiding foregone moments  

The events

That led me to this

Hardened by what transpired 

My mind struggles to suppress

But some old memories

Have their way 

Of refusing to be dismissed

Mere seconds change everything

And a moment becomes a last

How do I move ahead

When restrained by the past 

My hands outstretched 

Searching aimlessly

For a life, that my eyes 

Refuse to see 

Seeking a love

That was once so alive 

But is now, 

So cold and dead

How do I become

That elusive woman

Who exists

Only within my dreams 

She, who still feels passion

And enjoys your familiar touch 

She, who remains forever

The girl that you still love

So many days

I’ve stared at this page

Searching for words

To help me explain

That I tried my best

To carry us through

The steepest mountains

On the darkest terrain

Trying to repel

What I couldn’t touch

A raging battle

An invisible fight

You, so young, so innocent

Never deserved

Nor could comprehend

That a shattered life

Would never

Be the same again

Each day quickly came

As we blindly ran

But there was no escaping

Fates awful plan

You may have thought

That I’d forgotten you

Or that you didn’t matter

In this life, so new

But you are 

What guided me

All those lonely nights

To find our future

You were the light 

With hope in your eyes

You gave me strength 

To never quit

And to remember why

I thought you knew

That it was all in jest

As I joked for fun 

And had a laugh

You never once complained

Or shed a tear 

You hid your pain 

As I concealed my fear

We’re quite a pair

You and I

Misunderstood, confused

Afraid to try

To speak our truth

Find the answers to why

Perhaps with time 

We’ll learn to change

To shed the masks

We wear so well 

And find the courage

Hopefully, with age

Until then

Take my hand 

Let’s leap together

Into this unknown land

I’ll break your fall

You’ll take a stand

Together we’ll learn 

Together we can

Rolling cascading 

Sparkling as they fall 

Stunning in their 

Thundering descent

Each droplet 

Minute

While standing alone

But joined together

A force so strong 

That effortlessly

Crumbles stone

Creating 

A carved path 

That carries them home

This circle of life 

Where some, not all

May be led astray

While searching for

Their road well traveled

Yet to be

Etched terrain

Their destiny

Challenges confronted

Along the way

On a quest to find

Their source of strength

A drop in time

A resting place

Their waterfall

Which path do I take

With one foot immersed 

Securely in the past 

Repeating old habits 

Hard to break 

While the other seeks autonomy

In a new and better place 

How do I become someone 

Who no longer contemplates

A life that could have been

And instead lives for today

Throwing caution to the wind

I’ll have to start slowly

Taking one step at a time 

Letting go of your hand 

That I’ve held elusively in mine

Why are new beginnings 

And necessary changes 

So very hard to invoke 

If I choose to embark on the future

Must I leave the past behind

I long to feel the suns warm rays

As they gently caress my face

While climbing 

Captivating mountain peaks

Claiming each new obstacle

One victory at a time

I’ll probably still reach for you

When I fall

It’s comforting to know 

That your hand will

Always be there 

If, only in my mind

Recollections of your love 

Give me the courage 

To converge

My once upon a time 

Life of yesterday

With the reality

That is today

Her face within the mirror

Peering cautiously

Somewhat distant

As though she’s

Searching for yesterday

Fine lines around her eyes

Convey her story

In total honesty

A rendering of changes 

Seen quite visibly

This definition of

A life well lived

Etched deeply

By lessons learned

Along the way

A mere price to pay

As receipt 

For a family well raised

Her strong hands

That comb through

Painted streaks of gray

She watches

As they fall 

To gently frame her face

Her expression 

A thoughtful acceptance

Drawn so deliberately

Without the need

Or attempt to erase

Her honest legacy

This confirmation of 

Seasons passed

A generous gift 

Not all are fortunate 

To receive

She’s gained so much 

A grateful life

With tender memories

The mirror tells her story

There’s truth in what she sees

Not solely an appearance 

Rendered on

Reflective glass

There’s so much more to see

Rolling down the path

Skipping striding steadfast

In its quest

To reach a destination

A quiet place to relax

By the river edge

A stop to see the view

Making friends along the way

Everything so new

Decisions definitely difficult 

For anyone to make

Careful in its need

Not to make a mistake

Plans and charts help to guide

A safe course to never stray

Journeys end awaits 

A new and remarkable place

As the sun begins its golden fade

A cozy spot at best

Slender green blades of grass

Soft serene so perfect for a rest

Sleepy dreams offer time 

To recuperate in wonder

Just where to go

In this new fantastic life 

So much for a little rock to ponder 

Like trying to breathe 

While holding my breath

I’m drowning in pain

With waves of regret

My message to you

So misunderstood

Tangled and garbled

You don’t see the good

Intention amiss

Distance prevails 

A growing divide

Love on the rails

I’m losing the battle

Nothing to gain

Fighting alone

A losing game

Trust so lost

Envy to hate

Love destroyed

A twisted fate

A hope for change

A prayer in the wind

A message to you

To love me again

Your love was and is a treasured gift

That I hold deep within my heart

Its purity and gentleness

I recognized from the very start

It came to me at the most perfect time

When I was alone and never knew

That there was a void in my life

And that I really needed you

Your love brought a change to me 

It made me realize

That hugs were so much better

Than anything money could buy

Conversation and laughter filled the air

With plans made just for two

Eventually though our love

Strengthened and our family grew

I never imagined that one day

Far too soon

That I would have to say goodbye to you

But God had a plan

I’ve done all that I can 

The years have passed

And now it’s time to move on 

But first I want to mention

You may be physically gone

But you’ll never be forgotten

Our kids are young adults now

They’re both exactly like you

When I look into their eyes

I happily see you

Although our house holds 

A life of old memories

A house is not a home

These moments etched in time

Will gladly be set free

And forever travel with you, the kids and me

From now 

And throughout eternity